Well, this post was nothing like I was planning on writing. Read on though, it's a little interesting.
I took AP chemistry my senior year of high school. I hadn't taken chem since I was a sophomore, so I was a little nervous...it was hard. Really, really hard. It'd take me a couple hours to complete three problems on the homework. I was getting 70% on tests (which back in high school of course was entirely unacceptable to me), and I wasn't understanding the material like I was used to when I'd taken it two years earlier.
One night I snapped. I couldn't figure out a problem so I moved on to the next one. Couldn't solve it either. Moved on to the next, couldn't do it, etc etc, and finally I just lost it. With angry tears streaming down my face, I threw that textbook as hard as I could at my pretty yellow bedroom wall. That wall still has a dent in it almost two years later. That textbook lost both its front and back covers.
But I pulled it together eventually and went on to get a 5.
I react violently to change sometimes, especially when it doesn't go my way at first. I fight it tooth and nail until I finally sink into a routine again, and then I'm fine. Then I excel. But until I get a grip...it's not pretty.
Big change: I started rehearsals for tour team. They are hard. I feel like a crappy dancer. I get corrected a lot, and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to compete the medley in Embassy. BUT, I haven't cried yet, and give me a couple weeks and I'll find my stride again.
I want to learn Mandarin. Just a parting thought.