1) No, I don't know when I'm going to graduate, and no, I don't have any babies. Also, if everyone on Facebook could just stop doing actual adult things like buying houses and having a semblance of a career, that'd be great, thanks.
2) Medical training sucks, and I hate it.
ETA: alternate titles for this post include "the bitter 5th year of grad school", "yes, i'm a selfish, sad person who currently can't find happiness in anyone else's success", "intern year night float: worse than expected!", and probably most appropriate: "i need more sleep"