get that corn outta my face

I dream in chemistry all the time these days. A couple weeks ago I was measuring concentrations using a spectrophotometer but in my dream I thought I was doing Raman spectroscopy. And then like two days ago I dreamed about NMR and figuring out structures of organic compounds.


but. i still. do. terrible. on instrumental. analysis. tests.


and i still. do. awesome. on verbal sections of practice GRE tests.


Sometimes, you know what, I feel like Nacho Libre:
"Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?"


It's just disappointing that I finally found out that it makes no difference whether I'm up to my eyes in ballroom or not, I still don't have the self-discipline and motivation to do well in school.

no comment

Sun been down for days
A pretty flower in a vase
A slipper by the fireplace
A cello lying in its case

Soon she's down the stairs
Her morning elegance she wears
The sound of water makes her dream
Awoken by a cloud of steam
She pours a daydream in a cup
A spoon of sugar sweetens up

And she fights for her life
As she puts on her coat
And she fights for her life on the train
She looks at the rain
As it pours
And she fights for her life
As she goes in a store
With a thought she has caught
By a thread
She pays for the bread
And she goes...
Nobody knows

where did she go?

In math I was the whiz kid, keeper
of oranges and apples. What you don’t understand,
master, my father said; the faster
I answered, the faster they came.

I could see one bud on the teacher’s geranium,
one clear bee sputtering at the wet pane.
The tulip tree always dragged after heavy rain
so I tucked my head as my boots slapped home.

My father put up his feet after work
and relaxed with a highball and The Life of Lincoln.
After supper we drilled and I climbed the dark

before sleep, before a thin voice hissed
numbers as I spun on a wheel. I had to guess.
Ten, I kept saying, I’m only ten.

-Rita Dove

What's with me and poetry lately? Oh, and I hereby resolve to stay awake in French and pay attention in chem lit. Goodness. Also, maybe I'm going to expand my ultimate career (of "Avatar:The Last Airbender" watching and blogging) to include science fair judging and doing chemistry magic shows. More on that later.

curse my lack of foresight for not wearing waterproof mascara

Today is one of those days when I feel very small and ask myself what I was thinking when I declared this major.

Too hard, too hard, too hard.

the most human color

and so we pick ourselves up and cling to the hope that we can do this.

my internship application is all complete, letters of recommendation and all, and for today, i'm trying to accept that as enough.