february air

Tonight, I would just like to stop feeling like I'm dragging myself through everything.

I would also just like to stop being afraid of life in general.

The end.

the ink in my veins keeps scribbling the same song

I wish I could put into words whatever it is I'm thinking. Some frustration, sadness, nostalgic, tired (as usual), sentimental...I don't know. More of the same as previous posts I guess.

Sum total: I wish I could fall asleep while watching "Pride and Prejudice" on my stadium seating we threw together for tonight's Fall of the Berlin Wall party instead of frantically reading a French book and writing a paper on it.

Too much partying the past semester, I think.

i can do hard things, i can do hard things, i can do hard things

This afternoon quickly spiraled into a I-need-a-cupcake-or-fudge and I-want-to-hurl-glass-beakers-at-the-concrete-walls-of-the-chemistry-building sort of day.

Me and physics have the rockiest relationship.

:(

speak.

"I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems."

Go Owl City, go.
I liked them before they were on the radio, thank you very much.

455? 462? 220? 391? 481? 120? 340? 361?

Seeing as there is less than a week until classes start, I should probably figure out what I want to take (and major in).

Hmmm...

nah.

I think I'm wearing the Slytherin locket horcrux.

Life is awesome.

But today all I want to do is crawl into bed, listen to the rain, and read Harry Potter.
And fall asleep and not wake up until tomorrow.
Shirk all responsibility.
Escape.

I'm Not Going to Write You a Love Song

You know what I realized, there are some things in life that you will never be able to do.
It kills me to think that because I have always been the type of person who deep down inside believes she can do anything. If I had wanted to get into Harvard, I could've done it. If I had truly wanted to make a youth final at Nationals, with enough practice and privates, I could've done it.

And then I realized that I will never be able to dance like some people. I have never had the opportunity to train for years with top coaches. I have never had the financial means to fly all over the world to compete and get lessons. And I never will. I realize that you don't have to be rich to become a great dancer or anything. But I realize that you have to put everything into it. If it's what you really want, that's all you do. And I can't figure out what I want out of my life, and I feel like I'm wasting my time going through the motions! If I could just pick that thing to pour all my energy and resources into....but I'm an indecisive pisces and I never know exactly what I want. I've just got all these vague ideas of grandeur and prestige, etc, etc.

Meh. That's all I have left to say.