Thursday, February 7, 2008
I'm Not Going to Write You a Love Song
You know what I realized, there are some things in life that you will never be able to do.
It kills me to think that because I have always been the type of person who deep down inside believes she can do anything. If I had wanted to get into Harvard, I could've done it. If I had truly wanted to make a youth final at Nationals, with enough practice and privates, I could've done it.
And then I realized that I will never be able to dance like some people. I have never had the opportunity to train for years with top coaches. I have never had the financial means to fly all over the world to compete and get lessons. And I never will. I realize that you don't have to be rich to become a great dancer or anything. But I realize that you have to put everything into it. If it's what you really want, that's all you do. And I can't figure out what I want out of my life, and I feel like I'm wasting my time going through the motions! If I could just pick that thing to pour all my energy and resources into....but I'm an indecisive pisces and I never know exactly what I want. I've just got all these vague ideas of grandeur and prestige, etc, etc.
Meh. That's all I have left to say.