Thursday, February 7, 2008

I'm Not Going to Write You a Love Song

You know what I realized, there are some things in life that you will never be able to do.
It kills me to think that because I have always been the type of person who deep down inside believes she can do anything. If I had wanted to get into Harvard, I could've done it. If I had truly wanted to make a youth final at Nationals, with enough practice and privates, I could've done it.

And then I realized that I will never be able to dance like some people. I have never had the opportunity to train for years with top coaches. I have never had the financial means to fly all over the world to compete and get lessons. And I never will. I realize that you don't have to be rich to become a great dancer or anything. But I realize that you have to put everything into it. If it's what you really want, that's all you do. And I can't figure out what I want out of my life, and I feel like I'm wasting my time going through the motions! If I could just pick that thing to pour all my energy and resources into....but I'm an indecisive pisces and I never know exactly what I want. I've just got all these vague ideas of grandeur and prestige, etc, etc.

Meh. That's all I have left to say.


Ryan said...

You know, I totally agree with this.

Sorry, you are the only person I know who blogs, and I find you fairly interesting, so I'll probably comment on most of your blogs, lol!

Through college I thought, wow, the sky is the limit on what I can do with my life. But I was like you, I thought I'll make it no matter what in what I do if I just put my mind to it. Well, I graduated and life hit me hard. My degree really doesn't count for much at all. And teaching dance pays chicken scratch in the west coast. I'd have to invent something amazing to make myself rich. I'll never be a world class ballroom dancer. I was just not given the opportunities, despite how much I improved and learned with what I was able to do. Dreams are important, but I think the key is to realize that they are dreams.

Katya said...

haha I love your comments, Ryan! Comment away!
PS what's your blog address? It won't let me just click on your name to find it because of your security settings or something...