Sunday, August 1, 2010

and we stood at God's feet, equal-as we are!

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex."

-Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

I've been re-reading Jane Eyre lately, and my goodness, there are so many awesome quotes in this thing. Kudos to Miss Bronte for crafting such an awesome heroine. Probably Jane is my literary hero and Marie Curie still reigns as my actually lived hero (along with my mother, I should add). 

I can't even pick out a favorite line from this paragraph because I love how they all fit together. Ahh. So good.
I especially...appreciate? relate to? it now as I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. It seems almost akin to blasphemy to say I want more than "just" to be a mom, but...I do? I realize that is by far the most important and most fulfilling thing I could ever do with my life, but...I want to...go to grad school? Maybe? Ugh, I don't know. I'll probably start class in 30 days (wow, how are we already in August?) and swear I never want to be put through any more of this academic misery, but secretly I love it. Even when I'm in the Benson Building until far too late because it makes me feel like I'm doing something...important? 

Sometimes, I guess I'm just scared that when I don't have homework to do, experiments to run, or chapters to read I'll feel totally insignificant.
I suppose I should sort out my priorities.



amanda/dave said...

I feel the same with the "just a mom" thing. Then I'm like hello!~ that's like 10 jobs. How can I do anything more important and influential in this world than be a mom?

Then it's like...but what about grad school and international work and I get all confused.

But deep down (or not deep down), I know I want to be a mom (not just a mom) who has had and still has a life. haha

Kellie Rachelle said...

I LOVE Jane Eyre. It's one of my absolute favorites. I'm glad we have similar literary taste :)

And I agree with Amanda.
And I think you'll know more what you want once you are married and then closer to when you graduate. Whatever you do, I know you'll be happy and fulfilled.