Friday, April 23, 2010

darkling plain

I'm sorry for my lack of substantial posts lately. Things have been a little crazy. Possibly the most difficult and emotionally taxing semesters of my life is now over, and I feel...empty? It's odd because as awful as the past four months have been, at least they've been full of purpose, and now, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm addicted to hard classes and too much homework. It makes me feel productive and like I'm doing something that matters.

But then, something comes along in the middle of finals week and all of a sudden thermodynamics and French history just seem utterly insignificant. My grandma passed away on Tuesday morning, and it really became hard to care. Really, really, really hard. I have been trying for four days to write up an appropriate post on the subject. But how can you sum someone's life up in one post? How can you possibly impart to the world in a few paragraphs who she was? I tried, and I can't. It's like Apollinaire and Bergson and the Dadaists claimed (Dr. Sprenger would be so proud), language has failed me. Words are completely inadequate.

I want to keep trying anyway. I owe her that much.

4 comments:

amanda said...

I'm sorry katie! that is very sad. I hope I can see you before we leave :(/:)

Kristen said...

Katie, I'm sorry to hear about your Grandma. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

Ashlan said...

I'm sorry Katie.
And in my personal opinion, sometimes you don't need to sum their life up in two paragraphs. The fact that you can't, that they meaned so much and were so much it's just impossible, I think that says it all right there.
Love you.

Kimkidoni said...

I'm so sorry, Katie. I know how hard that is. Let me know if I can do anything to help.