I've had this thought...
People are not lists of interests, favorites, hobbies, activities, etc. There's only so much you can figure out about a person on facebook who claims to love Smallville, art museums, and the Fray. If that really was what they liked and were passionate about, then okay. You could piece some things together about them. But I think more often then not, people put what they wish was their favorites and interests. I know I've definitely been guilty of that. I mean, I like Maria Mena and the Postal Service, but when was the last time I actually listened to them? How many of their songs do I even have on my ipod? (Maria-2, Postal Service- 6) I read Death of a Salesman, and it was an interesting play that really made me think, but is it really one of my FAVORITE books? Probably not. And even if I did go through and make sure that all the things on my facebook page were my FAVORITE!!!!! things, all you'd have is an empty list.
It wouldn't tell you (prepare yourselves, bad grammar excessively long sentence approaching) that I'm constantly taking on more than I can really chew, and that I'm deathly afraid of grasshoppers, and that I fall asleep in the classes I like most, and that I like listening to sad music sometimes just to be sad, and that I have always wanted to be an astronaut because the stars and space just amaze me but I've never done anything to persue that, and that I am skittish, and if I was an animal I'd be a hummingbird because I flit around never making up my mind because I am quite indecisive, and that I rarely talk about my personal life to anyone but a select handful of friends, and that I'm kind (which sounds so conceited...-that's another topic for another post) and I believe the best of just about everyone and I trust everyone but not enough to confide in them and when someone doesn't treat me kindly it throws me for a loop and that, and that, and that...
My interests, hobbies, talents, major, job, skills are just an outline of me. And so I'm always wary of people who've only heard of me or read my facebook page or whatever. You don't really know what you're dealing with until you've actually met the person. And even then...for me anyway, depending on who you were and if I totally had a crush on you (ha), it'd take you forever to really get to know me.
What do you guys think? I suppose it could all go back to what makes you you...?
*I need to overhaul my facebook page.
11 comments:
wow, that was a good post!
interesting point. very valid and often true too, in most cases I think. we see ourselves as we wish we were. huh. food for thought..
Very nicely done. *Que applause
love this post. everything you said is so true. hence why there is basically nothing on my facebook page. if people really want to get to know me they should get to know me through hanging out, talking, and really try to be one of my friends. none of this "we are friends on facebook, therefore i know everything about her." nope no dice. love you katie!
Wonderful post Katya. Although, I'll be a bit of a Devil's advocate and say that The Beatles ARE a part of my identity, just kidding.
haha, Kim, no I really think they are in your case! But probably not for everyone who lists The Beatles as one of their FAVORITE!!!!! artists...:)
katie, you are always so smart and insightful and eloquent in your posts. i LOVE reading your blog. also, let's go to park city. for real.
First off, I agree. :) Fabulous post. :) I LOVED it!
But I don't know if I entirely agree.
Well relaly, I do. Like favorites? Yeah. What DO they tell someone about you? I mean, really. Those lists? Yeah... And like you said at the end: hobbies, all that jazz, all those things just outline who you really are.
But then, you just MADE of list of things that explain who y ou are. What you'r elike.
Obviously, you can't really truly get someone to get to know you through a list lik ethat. But seriously? How amazing was that list? You just did exactly what you said you couldn't do.
And then, back on what I just said, even if people did meet you and did want to get to know you, most people don't anyway. Even if they REALLY wanted to get to know you, and you really WANTED them to get to know you, would they really? Completely?
I think there's always something lacking.
I mean, after years of marriage I guarantee my parents still are figuring each other out.
So maybe, it's as close as we can get sometimes.
And cause, wehn we do make those lists, Something about us, something in us, is drawn to what we ARE putting down. So even if it's a tiny piece of us, and you can joke about the Beatles being "part of your identity," it's still true. As stupid as it sounds.
Like me, I like rock songs. Trevor, he likes rap. I can't stand most of it anymore. That plays into our personality.
Every little thing, as stupid as it seems, really DOES play into who you are.
And like you said, maybe it's just a portion, or an outline, and they really just need to get to know you, but you can't say those things are stupid and not real or worthless or whatever.
Because as much as you say maybe Postal Service isn't your FAVORITE, it is enough that you put it down. BUt you'd never think to put Red down, or Lil' Wayne or whoever. So, obviously, that says SOMETHING about you.
But yeah. Like you said, those lists are just an outline. A tiny fraction of who we are.
But it doesn't mean it's not a part of us. That it doesn't describe us at all.
And Alyssa, you probably don't put things on your facebook not cause it won't describe you, but because just that. You'd rather have them get to know you than read an outline of your simplest "traits." It'd be like thinking you know someone cause they have brown hair and blue eyes and a medium build and height.
(And I think I'm just trying to disagree with the agreeable right now. :P Hahaha. It fits my mood.)
:) I like this one and have been waiting to read it for a while now. You are kind. It is much more enjoyable to get to know someone by being with them and much more enlightening.
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