2012, found in a poem

"The Suitor" by Jane Kenyon

We lie back to back. Curtains
lift and fall,
like the chest of someone sleeping.
Wind moves the leaves of the box elder;
they show their light undersides,
turning all at once
like a school of fish.
Suddenly I understand that I am happy.
For months this feeling
has been coming closer, stopping
for short visits, like a timid suitor.

2012 started out really rough. I remember sobbing in the library multiple times thinking about all the horrors of December 2011. I finally experienced the reality that terrible things happen to good people through Aaron's family and tragedies of close friends, and it shocked me how much it hurt. I think I'm still trying to reconcile myself to that truth. Slowly, though, things have gotten better. "For months this feeling has been coming closer," and 2012 ended up better than expected. Remarkably so, I'd say. We went on fun trips: DC, New York, the Grand Canyon, beach in North Carolina, my lovely Utah. We got busy with school: Aaron finished up the last of his sit-in-a-classroom-all-day-classes, and I started researching full time. We got a new niece: who is unbelievably adorable and beautiful and we love her. And we love Philly and we love each other and 2012 was all right by me.

"Suddenly I understand that I am happy."

I hope that 2013 brings us all happiness, too.

and...she's off!

I think this photo sums up my sister's attitude about going off and serving a mission better than I could in words.

Wouldn't you want to be a Mormon if you knew it'd make you this happy? 

so long, so long

We leave town in five days. I suddenly find myself scrambling to cram in more time with friends and family- movies with sisters-in-law, earring making night with friends, lunch with Grandpa, trip up the canyon with family, BBQ party, it is not enough.

The truth is, I have never moved more than 15 miles away from my family, except for the two months I spent in Europe last summer. I am a sheltered, naive Utah girl. And now I find myself driving 2000 miles away to do the scariest thing I've ever done in my life (attempt to get a PhD), without my mom, without my sister, without my friends. I can feel myself mentally digging in my heels, getting a little desperate to stay a little while longer, feel comfortable and safe a little longer, but on Friday, time is up. Life is moving on, and we are moving to Philly.