Sunday, January 23, 2011

all it takes is a little faith and a lot of heart sweetheart.

Tonight there are so many thoughts rattling around in my head that I can't decide what to say.

Today I read poetry and watched "Lost" and read the Book of Mormon out loud in French and visited friends and a sister and felt sad to be leaving this little valley in five months.

French still feels delicious on my tongue, I still like e. e. cummings, and I am still nervous about making new friends. And not having Becky around to cut my bangs or offer me clothes. Because Aaron's going to be very busy in med school. And if I don't get into grad school and have to just get a job instead, I may be very not busy. And I do not want to resort to baking cookies all day. Or start taking piano lessons. Or start watching "Lost" from season one again. Or scrapbook (although, actually, I would like to compile all my photos and ticket stubs and brochures from Europe sometime).

Thoughts or tips? I am just so terrible at making small talk with anyone. In fact, sometimes I just don't like talking to people at all. And I am generally terrible with change (even switching from glasses to contacts was traumatizing). I know that it will be a grand adventure and that Aaron won't let me become the ward/neighborhood hermit, but I can still be sad on Sunday nights.

The end.

6 comments:

Suzy said...

In our family, we call what you were experiencing the SNS's - Sunday Night Slums. ie dreading the future. For us, it was usually dreading starting the week but I think it'd apply to you too. Even though we'd worry and whine and wish away what had to happen (the week always started anyway), we survived and thrived once we got going.

As far as conversation starters/small talk is concerned, one line I've picked up over the past little while is, "So what's your story?" (emphasis on your) And then the person tells you whatever they want, instead of just the answers to the traditional small talk questions. Hang in there!

amanda/dave said...

It's hard to be in that situation but I think you'll do just fine. I bet there will be other med school wives you can hang out with! Plus, I bet you'll get into grad school. If you join the suga momma club, it won't be so bad...I bet you'll enjoy some free time. And hey, making cookies every once in a while ain't bad. :) The SNS....I get them a lot.

So good to see you on Saturday!

Sara said...

#1- You'll get into grad school.
#2- You're good at the whole talking thing, I promise. I just talked to you, in fact and quite enjoyed it.
#3- I always like starting small talk with a compliment. I find something about that person I like (clothes, smile, whatever) and then that usually starts stuff off well.

Becky said...

Have Babies! I'll come running!

The Kelly's said...

I really, really know what you're talking about. Last summer, when we went to DC, I was having the same feelings, at least in regards to the friends thing. We didn't live with the other BYU'ers and didn't fit in really with them anyway. We did have a really good ward though. But the bad news was that III (keyword: I) didn't put myself out there. And though we had a fabulous time in DC in general, we didn't really take advantage of it as we should have. Our ward was full of awesome people (which definitely intimidated me) and we didn't get to know any of them. I often felt loneeely in relief society or whatever and looking back on it now, it was just dumb!! I should have given a compliment to someone (as Sara said) or invited people to dinner or just anything! Anyway, after all this rambling, I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should just put yourself out there. It's not comfortable, at least for me, but you'll regret it if you don't (that sounds negative.. but I do regret it just a wee bit that I didn't make any friends...). And you'll be fine. You're such a successful and kind person that whatever happens will be just great. Okay, that's all... haha and gooooood luck! :)

Kellie Rachelle said...

Katie dear! You will get into grad school. They will want an amazingly smart, talented, incredibly hard-working student. Even if you don't, the Lord has a plan for you and will show you what you should be doing instead, even if not right away. If you get lonely, call me or the other roommates anytime. We will love to catch up and see how things are going!
Wish we could be closer... Maybe I'll come visit you summer after next when I'm all graduated!!