le moulin

Quite frankly, I cannot decide what I think about Paris.

It sort of feels like this odd, make-believe world created for me, where people are speaking in French for my benefit and learning. I keep thinking things like,  "Oh, how nice of them to speak French!" and "Wow, it's incredible how many people speak perfect French here!" 

Yeah, no duh.

It used to be that I loved, loved, loved big cities. Staying in the Waldorf Astoria in downtown Manhattan for 10 days was a dream come true when I was fourteen. DC quickly became my favorite city in the world at age sixteen. People would say, "I love visiting cities, but I could never live there," and I'd always think, "I could! I will! And I will love it!" But lately, I think that has changed. In England, it wasn't London that was my favorite place. It was Downham and York and Aberdeen in Scotland, smaller towns (okay, York is still fairly large, but it feels small). Here, in Paris, I love being not down the Champs-Elysees, but in Monmartre, or down the little streets where all of the outdoor markets are near our hotel. 

So I guess that's why I do not know what to make of this place. One second it feels like I'm in New York, and the next it feels like a little village. Keep me in the village, I say. 

Laisse-moi rester dans le petit village?

And another thing I've been musing on. I used to love traveling (and I still very much do), but you know what, three months is a long time to be out of the US of A. And you know what else? I really love America (and maybe a certain boy who lives there). I love our superior plumbing. I love that we have air conditioning. I love that we use paper towels. I love that we speak English. I love that our money doesn't look like Monopoly play money. I love that we have trash cans everywhere in public places. I love that we have decent hamburgers and Mexican food. I love that my family's all there. I love that my friends are all there. I love that my boyfriend's there. I love that my teammates are there. I love that we have mountains there. 

I can do anything...better than anyone...! Go watch Jessica's daily affirmation on youtube to understand that reference.

Anyway. This is not me complaining about Europe, I promise. I almost cried when I saw France out the window of the plane on my way here. I have worked so hard, for so long to get here. This has been my dream since I knew France existed. It is beautiful, and I love love love it.

But I also love other things too.

That is all.