Thursday, June 18, 2009

the most human color

Wow, weirdest feeling ever.
I'm sitting here in my deconstructed room as Kellie starts packing up and I'm reading blogs and I read Alyssa's post about missing Europe and I have this terrible feeling that I will never get there. I almost started to cry...totally out of the blue. ("blue lips, blue veins, blue-the color of our planet from far, far away" fav song of the moment)

I have more than enough money to go to France just sitting in my bank account. And all of a sudden I'm scared to death that it'll all get spent up on ballroom shoes, rent, food, movie tickets, lessons, etc...

:(

Is it awful that sometimes I think that once I'm done with ballroom my life will really start? That once I no longer have rehearsals and competitions I can finally focus on chemistry and actually do an internship or study abroad?

How much longer can I pull off sticking an appendage in every pool?

3 comments:

amanda and dave said...

you'll make it to france, I know it!! But I do hate the feeling of wasting or at-the-time-it's-not-wasting-but-then-you-want-your-money-back....

and I'll leave with a quote from the last samurai (based on a french soldier, btw)

"life in every breath"

or something. I thought it was cool. :)

Josh said...

I read this post...

Kellie Rachelle said...

After Blackpool next summer, go straight to France! I'm serious. The sooner you do it, the more complete and better you'll feel, like you actually accomplished something important and can move on. I can't really explain it very well... but that's how I feel about Jerusalem. I have SO many reasons to do it next winter or a year later or whenever except for this fall. But this way I'm ensuring that I actually get there and get that experience. The sooner, the better! It will forever relieve your worry that you won't get there!