caaaaake

Oh hey, blogging world.

We're back. We got married, took off in some very snowy/rainy weather for San Diego, came back to St. George for Christmas and our open house, and are now back home, slowly putting together our apartment.

It's been awesome.

Now I'm working on applying to graduate school, writing essays, falling asleep, avoiding writing essays.
Wish me luck! 2/3 are due tomorrow!

Oh, and happy New Year!

photo credit to Natalie Newman

Last Saturday my mom and I went shopping for a dress for me to wear to the wedding luncheon and temple clothes for when I go through the temple this weekend. And we were talking about wedding plans and all that fun stuff that we're pretty much done with at this point (I hope...not forgetting anything, right?), and I started to cry. Because my grandma should be here for all of this. And it breaks my heart a little that she won't. I told my mom that and she started to cry too, and for the first time in my life I saw my mom as a little girl.
Without her mommy.

And we both cried, sitting in Rubios eating tacos. Because we miss our grandma and mom.

But I know that we will see her again. And even though I won't see her sitting in the sealing room of the temple next to my grandpa, or in any of the million photos we take, I like to think that she'll be there. 

T-5 days

I can't help myself. We got the CD last night with over 300 photos on it...and I just have to share.

We lalalalove Nickell.

And my little sister Becky for being my hair and makeup stylist. :)

frosty

How about seven days, huh?

Can you believe that?

Finals suck, but life is beautiful.

tights

11 days...can you believe it?

Me neither.

photo by Nickell

vintage chemistry

While I'm going all photo posting crazy, I just have to share this:

Oh, my dad was such a rockstar chemist post doc at Harvard.

 I think this photo just says so much.

hehe

day 3: a picture of you and your friends

I have a lot of people I consider to be my friends, so you get to see a lot of photos!

My sophomore-present roomies/neighbors (photo from my birthday outing to Spark last March, so fun!)

My little sister. (photo from our Bateau Mouche ride on the Seine in Paris)

Freshman year roomies = lifelong friends (photo from an outing to Los Hermanos)

My high school besties, most of them at least (photo from our Christmas party a couple years ago)

And Aaron, my fiance, love of my life, and best friend.

day 2: the meaning behind your blog name

Well.

My name is Katie.

And [most] everything you find here originated in my mind, so

"From the Mind of Katie".

I actually think it was one of my friends on the dance team a long, long time ago who first suggested it, back when I was using some hotmail thing as a blog. It stuck, and I've been using it ever since.

day 1: a recent picture of you and 15 interesting things about you

I've been posting a lot of recent photos of me lately with engagements and all, so I decided to post this one instead, from when I was two years old and we lived in Boston. I'm the one with the blue dress and the purple sock on. Obviously, my sense of fashion started young...


1. I don't drink milk, even on cereal.
2. One of my legs is longer than the other.
3. When I was eight, I was obsessed with Star Wars. Later, when I was maybe 11? 12? I got obsessed with Star Trek and I'd offer to babysit for my mom so she'd let me stay up to watch Voyager or Deep Space 9.
4. When I was little, I wanted to be a marine biologist. When I realized you actually had to get in the ocean (a huge fear of mine back then), that put an end to that dream.
5. I eat a Yoplait lite yogurt every single morning. Harvest peach is my favorite, with pineapple upside down cake in a close second.
6. My socks rarely match.
7. I've lived in three states: Utah, Massachusetts, and Indiana.
8. I didn't even consider chemistry as a career until my senior year of high school. I thought I was going to major in humanities until I took AP chemistry.
9. I used to be a stellar student-National Merit Scholar (which, I am proud to say I have yet to lose in college), valedictorian, and rocking AP tests.
10. I think it would be really fun to be an editor for a scientific journal.
11. Summer is my favorite season.
12. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
13. Ender's Game is my favorite book.
14. Between me and my sister, we own all seven seasons of "Gilmore Girls".
15. I've never broken a bone, but I did get a concussion when I was eight years old from falling out of my brother's crib.

thankfulness

I'm a day late, but this year, I'm really grateful for this guy, for the fact that he asked me to marry him, and for the fact that we can be together forever.

meh

I like how eating nothing but pizza, chocolate, and a cream cheese danish and fantasizing over buying clothes I can't afford is how I choose to be self-destructive. 

Man, I am a rebel.

If anyone is looking/knows someone who's looking for housing...well...I've got a contract that I'm desperate to sell. It's in a beautiful house a couple blocks from campus, and I'll write you a $500 bonus check if you'll buy it from me. Click here for the craig's list ad with all the info.

Thanks in advance!

30 days

I'm not even entirely sure where I found this...it was somewhere in a long, rambling blog stalking episode...but I think it's kind of a fun idea. You take 30 days and write 30 posts as outlined below:


day 1- recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
day 2- the meaning behind your blog name
day 3- a picture of you and your friends
day 4- a habit that you wish you didn’t have
day 5- a picture of somewhere you've been to
day 6- favorite super hero and why
day 7- a picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
day 8- short term goals for this month and why
day 9- something you're proud of in the past few days
day 10- songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad
day 11- another picture of you and your friends
day 12- how you found out about blogger and why you have one
day 13- a letter to someone
day 14- a picture of you and your family
day 15- put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play
day 16- another picture of yourself
day 17- someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
day 18- plans/dreams/goals you have
day 19- nicknames you have and why you have them
day 20- someone you love.
day 21- a picture of something that makes you happy
day 22- what makes you different from everyone else
day 23- something you crave for a lot
day 24- your last five facebook status'
day 25- what I would find in your bag
day 26- what do you think about your friends
day 27- why are you doing this 30 day challenge
day 28- a picture of you from last year and now, how have you changed since then?
day 29- in this past month, what have you learned
day 30- you favorite song


Anyone else want to try it?


Oh, and coincidentally enough, I'm getting married in exactly 30 days!!! :)

pam shortt's broken both her legs and i wanna dance with you!

Last weekend was the first time since 8th grade that I've gone to Dancesport and not competed.

I almost cried, walking into the ballroom and hearing the blaring samba music and seeing everyone in fake eyelashes, fake tan, fake nails, and rhinestones. Under the pressure all of the school and wedding stuff that's been going on I haven't really had time to sit back and miss ballroom. And I didn't realize how much I really do until then. I mean, seriously, is there any better feeling than hearing your name announced as a finalist in amateur latin or standard and walking out on that floor like, Yeah I'm hot, and you know it? 

But here was the other thing, as I sat there watching my friends and sisters dance, I felt disconnected. That isn't my world anymore. I chose to leave on my own terms, and I picked a pretty dang good reason (*cough*Aaron*cough). 

Even if I sort of wish I could participate in all of this glamor and competition again:

So thanks ballroom, for all the good times and even the not-so-good times.

But I think I'll be a [engaged] chemist now.

*Congratulations to everyone who competed! The caliber of dancing was really excellent this year!

to and fro

My lovely friend Sara emailed me this great talk by Sister Patricia Holland. This paragraph was particularly striking to me:


"We must have the courage to be imperfect while striving for perfection. We must not allow our own guilt, the feminist books, the talk-show hosts, or the whole media culture to sell us a bill of goods—or rather a bill of no goods. We can become so sidetracked in our compulsive search for identity and self-esteem that we really believe it can be found in having perfect figures or academic degrees or professional status or even absolute motherly success. Yet, in so searching externally, we can be torn from our true internal, eternal selves. We often worry so much about pleasing and performing for others that we lose our uniqueness—that full and relaxed acceptance of one’s self as a person of worth and individuality. We become so frightened and insecure that we cannot be generous toward the diversity and individuality, and yes, problems, of our neighbors. Too many women with these anxieties watch helplessly as their lives unravel from the very core that centers and sustains them. Too many are like a ship at sea without sail or rudder, 'tossed to and fro,' as the Apostle Paul said (see Eph. 4:14), until more and more of us are genuinely, rail-grabbingly seasick."


Full talk here.


Oh and chemistry GRE? So done with that. Scores to come in 6 weeks. I'm just glad it's OVER!!!!

maybe i should've checked the syllabus

Turns out the paper wasn't due until this afternoon.

Oh well. Gotta have an [almost] all-nighter at least once a semester, right?

plasmons and phototherapy

I am having horrible flashbacks to 391 (go here, here, or here for a taste of what that was like)
because it is 4:50 AM, and I'm still working on my paper for chem 514. It's actually pretty interesting, because wouldn'tcha know I picked an awesome group on the periodic table (copper, silver, and gold) for my topic.
There are so many cool applications of gold nanoparticles! You can do tumor cell imaging! And then proceed to selectively kill the tumor cells!

But I would really, really, really like to go to bed now.
Only 3.5 more pages...

sweet

Really not liking the picking the reception food part of wedding planning...
I don't want to do an ice cream bar, brownie bar, cheesecake bar, or pies. I wanted to do a crepe bar, but at $5/person, that's getting a little too pricey for me.

But. I do love cupcakes.
And I am getting married in December.
So I was thinking cupcakes + hot chocolate.

Is that too simple? Too little food? Too much cake?! I don't know.

Thoughts?

P.S. Thanks for the invitations feedback! My lovely friend Natalie designed a BEAUTIFUL invitation for me that I'm getting printed this week! I would post, but...you're probably going to be getting one in the mail anyway. :) Take that overpriced etsy file...

envy

Bedding from CB2.

Oh so tempted to shell out $120 for a duvet cover + shams right now...

Self, remember you are going to be a poor married college student in <6 weeks

caramel apples

On bad days I like to pull on my warmups and remember that one time I was a Blackpool champion.

(oops, closed my eyes in this shot)

What a seriously awesome summer I had.

Today I was talking with my relief society president, and she asked me what my goals were. And I realized that in the span of three months I'd sort of accomplished every major goal I've had since 5th grade:

Win at Blackpool
Live in France
Get engaged (eventually married in 50 days!!)

So...I'm a pretty lucky girl I guess. And even on days when I cry all through inorganic because of disappointing test scores I've got the best fiancé ever to put me back together and then spend Friday night helping me study for Saturday's test.

Lucky lucky lucky.

decisions, decisions

So, I've been scouring etsy for the past three weeks looking for a printable wedding invitation pdf that I really, really like, and I've found several. This one, however, is my favorite:

I can change the colors to match the dark navy, slate grey, and ivory theme I've got going on, which is awesome. What's not so awesome is the price...$75 for just the pdf file! What do you guys think? Is it worth it? Or should I just go with this one (for a lovely $25):

Thoughts?

get that corn outta my face

I dream in chemistry all the time these days. A couple weeks ago I was measuring concentrations using a spectrophotometer but in my dream I thought I was doing Raman spectroscopy. And then like two days ago I dreamed about NMR and figuring out structures of organic compounds.


but. i still. do. terrible. on instrumental. analysis. tests.


and i still. do. awesome. on verbal sections of practice GRE tests.


Sometimes, you know what, I feel like Nacho Libre:
"Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?"


It's just disappointing that I finally found out that it makes no difference whether I'm up to my eyes in ballroom or not, I still don't have the self-discipline and motivation to do well in school.

[600] posts of katie

This little Dell Inspiron on which I'm currently typing has been through a lot with me. It was a graduation present the summer before I started college, and it's lasted me through the past three years without much complaint. But...it's getting slow.
And the battery life is non-existent.

And THIS is just soooo much prettier:

So...instead of buying myself a new $40 battery, I'm thinking maybe it makes more sense to just cough up $1200 for a macbook.

Smart financial decision right?
Maybe if I needed it to last me through 5 years of grad school? And maybe if I bought it for myself as a "congratulations you survived two GRE tests in less than 2 weeks" present? (assuming I will survive both tests in less than a month...ohmygosh)

Thoughts?

too bad "just be glad we made it here alive" is never quite enough

I dreamed of $6.50 macarons this morning. I was telling my mom how much cheaper they are in Europe (like 2 euros for a big one) and how I was going to buy one anyway. But then the store didn't have the flavor I wanted (passionfruit? why that was the one flavor I wanted, I'm not sure) so I left macaroonless. 

And I woke up missing French food and summers. 

I could use a vacation or something. Just saying. 

dandelions

Aaron and I got our engagement pics back today, all 200+ images. And I love them! So much fun! Many thanks to Nickell for taking them!

(Oh and new hair dye job-check it, my bottom layer's now waaayyy dark in trying to fix the bad box dye job Bec and I did the night before we were originally supposed to take photos. Don't try that at home kids.)

you have stolen my heart

Hey, whadddaya know, I'm marrying this cute boy in two months from today.

Woooo!!!!!

and thus we begin national chemistry week

Somehow in the two hours between when I started my 227 test and when I ended it, my voice dropped an octave.

Really body? Sick again?

"behind the scenes with chemistry!!!"

Wouldn't you know, this week is National Chemistry Week. 

If you're interested in celebrating with us nerds, why don't you stop by for a chemistry magic show running twice a night, every night this week? Tickets can be found here (they're free!). Y Chem will be selling liquid nitrogen ice cream (only $1 a cup!) before and after every show. And...if you're scientifically minded (or just like movies), Y Chem's sponsoring a professor lecture series: four twenty minute lectures each focusing on movie chemistry versus real chemistry.

3:00 -  Dr. Bates -  DNA, Dinosaurs, and Dolly the Sheep: Biochemistry
in Jurassic Park
3:35 - Dr. Patterson - Something for Nothing: Energy Sources in the
Movies and Real Life
4:00- Dr. Austin - Chemists Catching Crooks: CSI vs. Real Forensics
4:35 - Dr. Asplund - "Why no Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!":  Lasers
in the Movies

I mean, look at how cute we are. How can you resist?

(photo from last May's National Lab Day event)

delicious imagery for your monday evening

"There is nothing that exists separate from me, Arjuna. The entire universe is suspended from me as my necklace of jewels. Arjuna, I am the taste of pure water and the radiance of the sun and moon. I am the sacred word and the sound heard in air, and the courage of human beings. I am the sweet fragrance in the earth and the radiance of fire; I am the life in every creature and the striving of the spiritual aspirant."

-The Bhagavad Gita

(thank you very much Philosophy 210)

booya

This is basically how I feel right because guess what.
French paper = DONE.

also, i feel so cool because i just barely figured out how to embed videos in my posts. as in, this is the first time i've successfully displayed a video for you to watch dear readers. soooo behind on technology!!

and then sometimes

I get a letter from Madame Moreau back in Toulouse, and I order myself a picture book with my Amazon.com credit (with free two day shipping, I love Amazon Prime), and I pick up stuff from the stockroom with Curtis, and I feel a lot better.

So...this is me saying do-over on this afternoon.

sometimes

i get scared that i will end up as one of those moms who refuses to get out of bed and just sleeps all day and lets the laundry pile up and the kids be neglected.


or maybe i'm really just scared that i will either a. not get into grad school or b. (even worse, in my opinion) i will get into grad school and then realize i'm in way over my head and the admissions committee will realize that i sure fooled them and then they'll flunk me and i'll sink into a depression and never do anything productive with my life. 
it's things like products that don't dissolve and incorrectly done columns that make you (and by you i mean me) think such things.

pourquoi apprendre l'américain? demain, on parlera l'occitan!

whyyyyyyyyyyohwhyyyyyyyydidithinkitwouldbeagoodideatowriteafifteenpagepaperinfrenchaboutoccitanculture?

bleh.

the end.

little rockstar andrus

I just have to brag about my brother again. 

He and his band recorded a single called "Spirals". It's awesome. And you should definitely have a listen (see music player on the left side of the page under the people who like this). 

"We dialed the sun, but where on earth have you been all this time?

Over and done, the squares and circles turning rhythms into rhymes

Sunlight's all over the breeze, whispers fly

The answers are all in the seas, only the moon will cry."

thank you mom for the use of your credit card

Days of Doom:

November 13th (GRE chemistry subject test)

November 20th (GRE general test)

Ahhhh!!!!!!!!

(Except, secretly, I sort of think it will be fun. Because once upon a time I was pretty good at standardized tests.)

like

So I discovered this company {a} vintage poster (via the rockstar diaries blog) that sells these adorable vintage-inspired prints for $15.00

And I love them!

Aren't they adorable? Seriously tempted right now...

if only my debit card hadn't been expired since August.

Maybe this will finally motivate me to take care of that (also so I can register for GRE tests...ugh).

This is everything I remember from 09.18.2010

It all started with a perfect bun.

Frisbee game. The Deprotonators won again. Natalie took pictures, Brooklyn wore that adorable flouncy aqua skirt.

Borrowing Amy's lipstick again. Amy borrowing my eyelash glue.

Dancing. Being okay.

My mom crying.

Lying on the floor during cool down for the matinee performance, being not okay.

Going to Zupas. Eating salad (when do I ever get salad?). No ring at Wilson Diamonds.

Falling apart while writing a thank you note to Lee and Linda. Aaron calling. Me putting myself back together.

"My family wants to take pictures at the temple."
                   "Like this?"

"Are you serious?"

One knee.
"One thing ends, another begins."
Dave taking pictures. Me wearing sunglasses and smashing my fake eyelashes in funny directions. Wearing my European outfit-Becky's flowered aqua shirt, tucked in, shorts with the skinny brown belt.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Everyone knew except me.

"Guess what?!" in the green room.

Whatever you're celebrating, stop for devotional.

"I'm engaged!!!!!"

Last show. As close to perfect as it was going to get. A tender mercy. No falls. Nothing shaky.
Shannon grabbing me from the dressing room. A good luck card from the team. Crying again. Ruined eyeliner for the 109234012834 time today.
Safety Dance Glee finale.
Sheer joy.

So many friends and family. Three bouquets. Me, Becky, and Mom. Crying all over again.
Matching Aaron's green polo.
Not knowing what to feel.

Putting away costumes. Good bye green Kaboom dress. Good bye lindy costume I never wore.

Dairy Queen (= glorified soft serve? Why did I never notice that as a 12 year-old?)
Blizzard. Freezing. Aaron's suitcoat.
Retelling "the story"
I told it different every time. Included the phone call, the Zupas lunch. Left them out.

Is it bad that I can't even remember the rest of that night? Calling Kim, Jody, Alyssa.
I opened the time capsule I made as a MIA maid. I wanted to name my children Madison and Tyler. I wanted my husband to have good sense of style so he could help me decorate our house.

I took out the bun. And fell asleep wearing a ring.

magic*

I did it.

I started two grad school applications today:

Duke and University of Chicago.

I didn't get much further than putting in my name and address.

But I think beginning an application at all is enough scariness for one day.

*Anyone else totally obsessed with this song? You know the one, "I've got the magic in me. Every time I touch that track it turns into gold..." Because I thought it was so obnoxious for about two weeks. And now I love it and play it every time I pull up grooveshark. It's just such a confidence booster or something.

quoi le heck

Avoiding working on my Occitan paper feels like the kind of rebellion I never indulged in during high school.

Sigh.

If I just ignore it, maybe it'll write itself.

I can't help it if all I want to do is pick out flowers and reception centers!

hey, guess what

Aaron likes it so he put a ring on it.

And we are getting married in T = 3 months - 2 days.

As in December 20th, in the Salt Lake Temple.

(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(And I don't have a picture of the ring because my camera charger cord is MIA! :( )

This is like the biggest occasion of my life, so I feel like it deserves this awesomely expressive eloquent post. Hence the reason for it being Wednesday and us getting engaged last Saturday. And yet, I am still without something...pretty? to say.

Can I just say, this year has got to be the most emotionally challenging, crazy-directionally-changing of my whole life? Aaron and I started dating officially last winter semester, my grandma passed away in April, I accomplished two major life goals by winning in Blackpool and living in France, I quit the ballroom team, and I got engaged.

So there you go. I suppose if I don't have anything to say it's because I'm still processing.

Wow. wow. wow. 

Lyrics by Train have been running through my head (thanks to Amanda, hehe):

My feet have been on the floor
Flat like an idle singer
Remember winger
I digress
I confess you are the best thing in my life

But I'm afraid when I hear stories
About a husband and wife
There's no happy endings
No Henry Lee
But you are the greatest thing about me

[Chorus]
If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better
If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, Love
That's enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own
Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne
I wanna buy ya everything
Except cologne
'cause it's poison
We can travel to Spain where the rain falls
Mainly on the plain side and sing
'cause it is we can laugh we can sing
Have ten kids and give them everything
Hold our cell phones up in the air
And just be glad we made it here alive
On a spinning ball in the middle of space
I love you from your toes to your face

[Chorus]

You can move in
I won't ask where you've been
'cause everybody has a past
When we're older
We'll do it all over again

When everybody else is getting out of bed
I'm usually getting in it
I'm not in it to win it
I'm in it for you

If it's love
And we're two birds of a feather
Then the rest is just whenever
Then the rest is just whenever

If it's love
And we decide that it's forever
No one else could do it better
And if I'm addicted to loving you
And you're addicted to my love too
We can be them two birds of a feather
That flock together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
Got to have something to keep us together
Love, love
That's enough for me

Mrs. Jensen, I still remember it

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. 


-William Ernest Henley

i love you from your toes to your face

This cute boy interviews at Duke, the dream med school, tomorrow.

Ahhhhhh!!! Prayers and best wishes please! :)

i own this decision

I feel good about quitting. It's been sad (and maybe I almost cry every time I tell someone I'm done), but I feel calm and okay about this. It's like for the first time in my life I decided on one thing I want to do. And I picked chemistry.

This is not to say that my semester will be any easier than usual. In fact, this will probably be the most difficult yet (can't believe I'm saying that after chem 391). I'm TAing (chem 391, of all classes), I'm working in the lab (trying to get enough data for a paper so that I can put that on my application for...), I'm applying to chemistry PhD programs, and I have other things going on that have yet to come to full fruition and so I'll hold off on announcing via blog just yet. 

Oh, and I'm sticking around for World of Dance this week (which means I'll be in the deJong every day from 5-10 this week), I'm taking four chemistry classes (2 lab classes = 13 hours/week, plus chem 521 and chem 514 = not easy), I have a 15 page paper in French on Occitan culture in southern France due in three weeks (that I have yet to actually start writing anything for), I'm (sort of?) the president of Y Chem and have an opening social to plan. 

Life centered around ballroom is over. Being a member of the team has been, without a doubt, the greatest part of my college experience. I am so grateful for the involvement that I have had with the company. Lee and Linda have been incredible to work with, and my teammates have been so wonderful.

I'm really glad that I have one more chance to dance this week during World of Dance.

And it would be really awesome if you guys could come, because this is it for me. This is the end of a ten-year long crazy involvement with ballroom. This is the last time I will be performing, possibly (and probably) forever.

So maybe if you're not doing anything, you could come and see my exit from the art that has held my attention and passion for so long. It would really, really, really mean a lot. 

Here's the website where you can buy tickets if you're interested. 

in case you were wondering:

quitting the dance team does not necessarily lessen your stress levels.

but it does make you cry off and on through 514.

quarter life crisis

I wish my grandma was here, because if she was she'd tell me I was awesome and that I could do it.
And I'd believe it when she said it.

Meh.

Maybe in the future I will write something positive for once?

somewhere in between

Just for today I would like to stop suffocating under the weight of to-do lists, unpacked boxes, unworked hours, and decisions.

So I did. I read Mockingjay until noon and then went to Jamba Juice with Kellie.

And then I came home and fell apart.

The end.

note to self:

day old donuts taste like day old donuts.

il faut avancer

One eternal afternoon* later, and I was home.

I'm torn. I am so, so glad to be home. I'm so happy to be back with Aaron. And I am so happy to start throwing myself into rehearsals and working in the lab and planning my school schedule and figuring out my life and everything else.

But I miss France. I miss hearing French everywhere and reading signs in French. I miss saying "Bonjour!" and "Au revoir!" when I enter and exit stores, elevators, buses. I miss eating jambon/emmental/beurre baguette sandwiches. I miss walking around the centre ville. I miss the metro. I miss the Mediterranean Sea. I miss weekend train trips. I miss the taste of French on my tongue and pastries in my mouth.

To everything there is a season I guess. My season in France is over. Must keep pedaling the bicycle forward or I shall lose my balance, a la Einstein:

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."

Keep moving keep moving keep moving.
Can't help it; mostly I just want to sleep.

*okay, 11 hours if we're going to not exaggerate.

up and up?

Curse this 8 hour time difference!!

I just got an email informing me of my chemistry TA position, and I need some feedback here!!

Also, I need to decide once and for all what I am doing with my schedule this fall.

It's okay though, because in 24 hours I will already be in the Paris airport ready to take off for back home.

WOOoooo!!

be my escape

Yes, this post is another blatant plug for another event in The Valley.

BUT.

I've been having one of those rediscovering Relient K moments recently, because every morning I attempt to "work out" in my little room at the youth hostel here, and their songs are really great tempos for doing crunches and running around in little circles as you do "cardio". Anyway, so just about five minutes ago I was like, hey, I wonder if they have any shows coming up, because I swear like every summer they're here and I go to their concert and it's so awesome. I checked their website, and what do you know, their very next show is at Thanksgiving Point.

And! It's not only them, they're playing for the Candlelight Serenade Acoustic Festival which is also featuring a ton of other artists, including two I've been obsessed with lately, namely
Priscilla Ahn and Chris Carrabba (of Dashboard Confessional fame)

August 21st, from 10 AM to 11 PM, with people playing all day.
Only downside is cheapest tickets are $40 ($35 with a Costa Vida/Spoon Me discount card)...
and I already have plans to go boating that day.... (Priscilla's playing at 4:00)

AHhhhhh...I am so freaking tempted to go!

I mean, look how cute they are.

Click for more info!

i just keep happening upon awesome [free] local events:

Maybe you know Meg Fee from her awesome blog, The Wild and Wily Ways of a Brunette Bombshell. If you don't, I do believe it is about time you became acquainted.

She's here in Utah, and she'll be playing Juliet in "Romeo and Juliet" as part of Utah Shakespeare in the Park. There are a bunch of showings, all outside, all free, all through August and and half of September.

So maybe we could do another picnic dinner party and feel cultured some more?

(After a month and a half of scouting out every single fun thing you could possibly do in Toulouse, I have a feeling that I won't easily let that tendency go when I return home.)

More info here!

carmen san diego

For a while I thought that after this experience I'd be a total homebody and never want to leave the country again.

And while it's true that I'm longing for a little stability and a little bit more permanence, I think that just the opposite is true. I think I'm going to want to be a traveler for the rest de ma vie.

I would like to visit:
Asia: Tokyo, Hong Kong, and Beijing
South America (especially after reading "The Lacuna", talk about a beautiful portrait of Mexico)
Switzerland
Spain: Barcelona, Madrid, Seville, Malaga
France: Nice, anywhere in Provence, Marseilles, more Paris, anywhere in Bordeaux, anywhere in Brittany, more Normandy, anywhere in Alsace Lorraine (man, I love this country)

What about you guys? Where do you want to visit?

i forgot to mention:

The concert mentioned below is


FREE.

yessssssssss.

why do you let me stay here?

Ecoutez, mes amis.

Je vous propose:

She & Him concert

+ picnic dinner

August 26th, 7:00, Pioneer Park.
(I promise you want to come. Everyone brings a dish to share, we dress all indie, it'll be a blast!)

Because, really, who can say no to Zooey Deschanel?

and we stood at God's feet, equal-as we are!

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex."


-Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre


I've been re-reading Jane Eyre lately, and my goodness, there are so many awesome quotes in this thing. Kudos to Miss Bronte for crafting such an awesome heroine. Probably Jane is my literary hero and Marie Curie still reigns as my actually lived hero (along with my mother, I should add). 


I can't even pick out a favorite line from this paragraph because I love how they all fit together. Ahh. So good.
I especially...appreciate? relate to? it now as I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. It seems almost akin to blasphemy to say I want more than "just" to be a mom, but...I do? I realize that is by far the most important and most fulfilling thing I could ever do with my life, but...I want to...go to grad school? Maybe? Ugh, I don't know. I'll probably start class in 30 days (wow, how are we already in August?) and swear I never want to be put through any more of this academic misery, but secretly I love it. Even when I'm in the Benson Building until far too late because it makes me feel like I'm doing something...important? 


Sometimes, I guess I'm just scared that when I don't have homework to do, experiments to run, or chapters to read I'll feel totally insignificant.
I suppose I should sort out my priorities.


Thoughts?