dream come true basically

Tonight, I got to "cool down" with the ballroom dance team after watching their performance, and it pretty much made my life (cool down is in quotes because I couldn't do much in my wedges and skinny jeans, so I just sort of squatted around. cute image, huh?). Not even kidding! It's been a year and 9 months since I've been on a stage, and I was eating it up, like a total has-been. I think I was pretty obnoxious during the performance because I kept making comments to my mom and tapping my feet along with the numbers I used to dance (I remember the 3 couple cha-cha almost perfectly. Put me in, Lee!). But it was wonderful!

I sort of quit ballroom cold turkey, and while I've never regretted picking Aaron and graduating over dance, I do miss it a bit. And my friends! Oh, I've missed crazy ballroom people. 

So thanks for humoring me and letting me pretend like I was one of you for a little bit. (who am I kidding? I am one of you! I still wear the warm-ups! I'm totally still with it when it comes to ballroom!!!....okay, not really, but I pretended tonight). 

BYU Ballroom you are the best. xxxooo

you decide!

Which is stupider:

a) the fact that the show "Dance Moms" exists

b) the fact that my sisters and mom and I can't stop watching it

?

Also, I saw a pin today on pinterest (been too long since I've complained about that, huh!) showing frozen yogurt drops, as in, take your yogurt, pipe it onto a cookie sheet, freeze it, and eat it. Why do you need to freeze your yogurt in small drops? A 100 calorie thing of Yoplait light is too much for you to handle so you have to portion it out? Or you just think it's cute to waste 20 minutes of your life freezing little yogurt drops?

I'm kind of tired tonight. Can you tell?

you-taw

I guess this is what happens when you get four sisters together who all dance(d). Mostly I'm impressed Becky can balance me on her legs. No hands! (I toppled over right after that photo was taken.)

lots of exclamation marks

I'm really proud of myself because I planted some carrot seeds in my baby garden, and now there are carrot sprouts! A lot of them! (in the shape of a z because I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to gardening) Also, my cherry tomato plant has a little green tomato on it. The miracle of life! This almost makes up for the fact that all four of my basil plants are dying a slow, fungal death. 

Speaking of the miracle of life, my sister-in-law had her baby last night, so now I'm a double aunt! My other sister-in-law was texting Aaron and me photos in the middle of the night, and I didn't really know what was going on until I woke up and looked at my phone. What a great way to start your morning, am I right? 

While I'm sharing good news, here's some more! Not only am I going to Utah for Memorial Day weekend to see my sister Becky off before she leaves for her mission in Carlsbad, CA, but I get to stick around for a couple of weeks and do some chemistry at BYU (provided that the samples we're making right now are good samples...eek). I'm not totally sure how I'm going to get liters of buffer plus protein samples on the plane, but I'll figure it out. 

This means: Utah friends, I want to play with you! Parents, I'm moving back in! Kneaders, I'm coming!

the end.

how many treats can we eat in one day?

My cousin Sasha was in town for the weekend, so we had another go at being tourists in Philly! I think we had quite the lovely itinerary, actually, if you're ever debating about what to do in the city:
Roast beef sandwiches for lunch at DiNic's at Reading Terminal Market, plus chocolate truffles from some Amish people for dessert
Capogiro gelato for second dessert
Shopping on Walnut (buying Sasha a new iPod charger and some things for Sash at H&M. I coveted but did not buy some mint green skinny jeans.)
People/dog watching at Rittenhouse Square
Cupcakes at Pamcakes for third dessert
Dinner at home, nail painting and SNL skit watching.

All in all a wonderful Saturday! Thanks Sash!

(sidenote: look how long my hair is getting! Too bad at least the last six inches are pure split ends! Also, I'm thinking about growing out my bangs. Good idea or no?)

five months

Whenever someone says "before Zach died" or "after Zach's death," my brain doesn't know how to handle it. It doesn't compute. Or when I'm in a really good mood and suddenly see his picture, it's almost confusing. Like I've forgotten and suddenly have to remember all over again. Something about happy feelings just doesn't fit with Zach not being here. I think things are getting better though, at least for me and Aaron. We are busy with school, and we're in a place that harbors no trace of Zach but the pictures we've put up. I cry less frequently, and I think my fear of having children is starting to lessen a little. We don't have to see the empty bedroom, with the bed that stays made, or be in the quiet house, or notice the missing drumset from the garage.

You know what I think makes me saddest, for some reason? Thinking about his mom decorating his grave to match the seasons. A heart wreath for February, Easter wreath for April, flowers in May...no mom should have to do that. No parent should have to bury their child. 

But that's what Mark and Wendy did. And they've carried it so well. I have been in awe of their strength. I could not do what they've done with such grace and such faith. 

I hope I never have to.

*******

Wendy wrote this a couple months ago, and it really speaks volumes to what an amazing person she is.

 This post by Rachel, his sister, is also incredibly inspiring.

And, here's another one written by Aaron about his experience and what he's learned through all this.

Whenever I think about posting some emo post about how sad I am blah blah blah I remember these and think if they can pull it together, losing a son and brother, I can too.

I would like to be called Lady Katherine now please.

I did it.

I survived my first year* of graduate school!

This weekend I also:

planted a garden consisting of three tomato plants and one packet of carrot seeds (baby steps)
bought two rugs at IKEA
ate with chopsticks and was really bad at it
randomly ended up at Independence Hall after the chopstick experience
watched 5 episodes of "Downton Abbey."

Speaking of which, OMG. I can't get enough of that show. I finished season 2 (Matthew and Mary! You're killing me!!!! Sybil!!! Branson!!! BATES!!!) and now have nothing to watch, which is probably good since I should be reading papers or attempting to understand surface-enhanced Raman spectroscopy or something. Now that I'm done with classes, I get to work in the lab full time, which is what I'll be doing for the rest of my grad school time, plus TAing here and there. I'm quite excited about it!

I suppose I should go to bed since now I'm a responsible lab worker and go to campus at 8:30 AM instead of noon...I think I'll miss those no class until 12:00 days...

*Academic year I guess? Things get murky after the first year since I'm not in class anymore, and there's no real mark of "now I'm a second/third/fourth/fifth/sixth year!" except for new students coming in.
>EDIT: this was written at 9:45 PM Mountain Time = almost midnight Eastern Time...I don't go to bed at 9:45.

finals...

Aaron's birthday present. I think this is a quarter or a third of the puzzle?

are about as fun as doing a 5,000 piece puzzle without the box picture. 

But by tomorrow afternoon at 2:00 PM, I will be done! (and maybe never have to take a final ever again)

Halle-freaking-lujah.