hurts like heaven

Four weeks ago today Zach, we got the news of your death, and I think I finally have something worth posting about you.

This is Zach, lover of drums, karate, and golf, thirteen years old, random and crazy as ever. The video sums him up better than I ever could in words, but here are a few words' attempt anyway.

I didn't know Zach for very long, as Aaron and I have only been married a year, and we spent half of it living 2,000 miles away. One of my memories of him though, was from when we were in North Carolina for our beach vacation in June. He was always out on the boogie board, even when the waves were big enough that I was too freaked out to go out that far. He had this red beanie that he always had to be wearing. One time he came in from swimming, put it on his wet head, took a nap, and the beanie bled red dye all over the white pillowcase. We thought that was the funniest thing. Another memory is from the chemistry department brunch after graduation in April. Zach and I were in line for food, and I was talking to one of my former professors. She asked Zach what he wanted to be when he grew up, and I forget exactly what he said, but it had something to do with the stock market. He then went into a detailed (and quite accurate) explanation of how the stock market worked. Did you know how the stock market worked at the age of 12? And would you have had the guts to explain it to someone much older than you? That was Zach. He wasn't afraid of anything.

On our anniversary, we watched our wedding video, and there you were Zach, wishing us a good marriage at the luncheon and thanking Aaron for "letting me be in your wedding group", dancing with your sisters at the reception, smiling, happy, alive. We cried.
I have spent the last three weeks wishing I could undo December 11th. But for whatever reason, it was your time to go. Zach, we miss you and love you so much. We look forward to when we can be with you again.