ender will save us all. physics will kill us. (or maybe just me)

You know what. I never should've gotten that A- in Math 113 after getting a 37% on one of the midterms. Ever since then I've been in the mindset that one test won't matter that much and that if I just study really hard for the others, I'll be just fine!

Note to self: This is a trap.
Stop. Thinking. Like. This. And. Go. Study.

Now.

ugh....

high and dry, i am so sorry

I have tried and tried and tried to sum it up, to find something that says it better than I can, but I have already used up my most depressing French poem, and all of the lyrics to the songs we loved are far too happy.

Dear World,

Could you please be nice to me this week? I think one more thing might leave me undone.

Sincerely,

Katie

It's 4:20 already?!

Currently: avoiding homework while listening to Natalie watch the football game.

Should be: typing up a paper for American Christianity. Or reading for p chem or physics. Or studying physics. Or writing a French paper.

Want to be: sleeping. Or eating Mexican food. One of the two would be awesome.

Earlier: Saw "Pan's Labyrinth". Sort of liked it. Didn't like how arbitrary the tasks Ophelia had to do were. Liked the creepiness and *****SPOILER ALERT******** stop reading right here and right now if you'd like to find out for yourself what happens in the movie***********











the fact that practically everyone dies. (Now that you think I'm a creeper, let me explain. It's sometimes more powerful when the main character dies because you don't expect it to happen. They're the main character, they have to live. And the fact that the villain gets what he deserves and dies too was satisfying to me.)

Am now going to: take some tylenol and go back to reading. meh.

Go cougars!

fly like paper

Dear World,

Today I played around with the idea of double majoring in French and chemistry. Am I crazy?

Ambitiously yours,

Katie

THE back to school post

Hey happy blogging buddies. Seeing as it's the third week of school, I suppose it's about time I got around to writing this. I worked very hard to be taking only 14 credit hours this semester, and you know what, I have a lot of time that I'm not spending in class. It's quite nice. I don't know if I'll be able to do this again, but I'm sure enjoying it.

As for classes, I'm only taking four that aren't dance:

Chem 462- Physical Chemistry: Quantum Mechanics
This is probably my favorite class. The professor is super engaging and really good at making something completely obscure and very difficult conceptually easy to "get familiar with" which, combined with twice a week study/homework sessions with my friends, has led to me somewhat "understanding" the material. I think anyway. My first test is next week so we'll see...

Physics 220- Electricity and Magnetism
I swear, I have never learned anything from attending a physics lecture. This semester seems no different. Once again, I'm hoping the physics gods will smile upon me if I can keep my distaste for the subject hidden. It's bearable because my chemistry friends are in it too.
And it's the last physics class I will ever have to take!!! WOOOOOOO!!!!

Rel 353- American Christianity
I think history/social studies was the one subject I never really did enjoy through junior high and high school, so although the subject matter is not incredibly appealing, the professor is CRAZY entertaining, so I like it. Plus Josh is in that class, so you know, that's always good too.

Fren 340- French Literature
So far, it's all right. I got a 97 on the first paper I wrote, and it was not particularly good, so this bodes well for the rest of the semester. It's just fun to listen to French, speak French, read French, write French.

Overall, I love this semester. I think I'm maybe (?) getting a clearer idea of what I want to really study...maybe biophysical chemistry? We shall see.
I'm really liking all of my classes (okay, actually that's a lie when applied to physics), I love the fact that Y Chem is going to be awesome this semester, ballroom is going well (the 3 couple cha-cha I'm in, kid you not, is my absolute favorite routine I've ever been in, and I think you should all come to our concert in April so you can see it because it is going to be sahweet), I'm still dating Josh (in case you were wondering...), I have an iPod that works again (!!), I finally got a parking sticker for a Y lot, World of Dance is over, and all of a sudden this list morphed into a grateful list which sort of deserves its own post, so I'll stop it right there.

Hope the school year is going well for all of you as well!
Happy Tuesday! :)

speak.

"I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Cause everything is never as it seems."

Go Owl City, go.
I liked them before they were on the radio, thank you very much.

ti-89 please. if you have one for less than $120, i am interested.

also...

why are calculators still SO expensive? it's not like we haven't had this technology for decades...

*my lack of capitalization demonstrates my disgust.

mmmm....the land of curry...

This morning was the tour meeting for the ballroom team where we talked about our upcoming tours to Southern California (2nd week of October), and the British Isles next May.
The guy from performing arts management also mentioned what the plan is for next year's summer tour...

Asia.
meaning:
Thailand
Vietnam
& possibly Cambodia and Singapore.

It is enough to make me want to stick around another year.

I'll have to take that into consideration when planning my life...

I did a very good job of avoiding homework today.

I found this little poem while perusing Jacques Prévert's poetry in search of something I could use for a French assignment. I think it's really beautiful and rather sad:

Dimanche

Entre les rangées d'arbres de l'avenue des Gobelins
Une statue de marbre me conduit par la main
Aujourd'hui c'est dimanche les cinémas sont pleins
Les oiseaux dans les branches regardent les humains
Et la statue m'embrasse mais personne ne nous voit
Sauf un enfant aveugle qui nous montre du doigt.

Translation: (this is just my own, so forgive my mistakes)
Between the rows of trees of the avenue of Gobelins
A marble statue took me by the hand
Today is Sunday, the movie theaters are full
The birds in the branches watch the humans
And the statue kisses me, but no one sees us
Except a blind child who points at us.

Well drat, now my formatting's all off, but that's okay. I especially like the end-"no one sees us but the blind child"-quelle antithèse!
Anyway, now I'm going to go read my uber dry American Christianity textbook. But, I am not complaining. :)

scatter sunshine

"I am glad that you are young, and I hope you are enthusiastic, because there is a terrible ailment of pessimism in the land. It’s almost endemic. We’re constantly fed a steady and sour diet of character assassination, faultfinding, evil speaking of one another. . . . The tragedy is that this spirit of negativism seems to prevail throughout the country. . . .

I come this evening with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I’m suggesting that we accentuate the positive. I’m asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. . . .

My dear young friends, don’t partake of the spirit of our times. Look for the good and build on it. There is so much of the sweet and the decent and the good to build upon.

You are partakers of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel means “good news.” The message of the Lord is one of hope and salvation. The voice of the Lord is a voice of gladness. The work of the Lord is a work of glorious and certain reward. I do not suggest that you simply put on rose-colored glasses to make the world look rosy. I ask, rather, that you look above and beyond the negative, the critical, the cynical, the doubtful, to the positive."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley

I think that I'm guilty of this from time to time, especially when life gets stressful. I start thinking of all the opportunities of things that I get to do as burdens that I "have" to do. I don't have to study French and chemistry, I don't have to be on the ballroom dance tour team, I don't have to go to school at all. But I've chosen to take advantage of these opportunities. When things get hard I need to remember how blessed I am for having the chance to participate in all of these things. I won't be doing this forever, I won't be here forever. I need to enjoy it while I am.

Goal: No more complaints about dance or school for the rest of the week.

delta x times delta p is greater than or equal to h bar over two...

I just spent fifteen minutes trying to figure out how to come up with a pretty way of applying the uncertainty principle to my current mood and couldn't come up with anything that would make sense to anyone else (even anyone who knows what the uncertainty principle is), so let me just say this:

"Life is hard, and then you die."

Thanks to Mr. Wakefield for those words of wisdom.

eigenvalues, operators, integrals, oh my!

Thanks to chem 462 and physics 220 I have been tossed into a stormy, swirling sea of math, and I....

....am loving it?

Maybe p chem is for me after all.


One of these days I'll do a back to school write up. I promise.

I'm hoping by the end of the semester I will understand every word:

Deep in,
they're there, they're
at it all the time, it's jai
alai on the hot molecular fronton-
a bounce off walls onto the packed aleatory
dance floor where sideswipes are medium of exchange,
momentum trades sealed in swift carom sequences,
or just that quick kick in the rear, the haphaz-
ard locomotion of the warm, warm world.
But spring nights grow cold in Ithaca;
the containing walls, glass or metal,
are a jagged rough rut of tethered
masses, still vibrant, but now
retarding, in each collision,
the cooling molecules.
There, they're there,
still there,
in deep,
slow

hey self that loves school. i need you to come back now.

I have never started a school year feeling so unsettled, so unready to devote my life to academics (as you can tell by the past couple of posts).
It's pretty darn painful. I decided to drop my dad's 455 class, and I'm really upset about it. I think it's the smartest thing for me to do right now, but gosh, I very much wanted to take a class from him. I don't know if I'll get another chance to do so in the future. I loved being in his lecture this morning, for my last time in 455 of this semester, watching him teach. That's my dad, I kept thinking, so full of pride to be his daughter. He was whipping out the mechanism to make asprin from benzene and explosives from acetone, toilet bowl cleaner, and peroxide, throwing out types of reactions faster than I could write; he was great. I wish I had the opportunity to continue to see him like that.

I'm really, really, really going to miss it.

Bring it on chem 462, physics 220, french 340, religion 353, and dance 485R.
You have a lot to make up for.

if it kills me

I SWEAR I'M NEVER GOING TO GRADUATE.

That's all I have to say about that.

Actually, I have a lot to say about that, but it hurts to much to think about and then I'd have to pull up my life plan excel spreadsheet and start rambling off on chemistry classes with scary names, and study abroad, and ballroom tours, and it just wouldn't make any sense to anyone but my mom (and maybe Josh).

Let me just complain once again about how nervous I am about this semester and what I'm supposed to be doing and blah blah blah blah blah.

I need a nap.