I have no words.

Il a mis le café
Dans la tasse
Il a mis le lait
Dans la tasse de café
Il a mis le sucre
Dans le café au lait
Avec la petite cuiller
Il a tourné
Il a bu le café au lait
Et il a reposé la tasse
Sans me parler

Il a allumé
Une cigarette
Il a fait des ronds
Avec la fumée
Il a mis les cendres
Dans le cendrier
Sans me parler
Sans me regarder

Il s'est levé
Il a mis
Son chapeau sur sa tête
Il a mis son manteau de pluie
Parce qu'il pleuvait
Et il est parti
Sous la pluie
Sans une parole
Sans me regarder

Et moi j'ai pris
Ma tête dans ma main
Et j'ai pleuré

The last stanza: I put my head in my hands and cried.

So this is what it feels like to be flat broke.

I literally have no money in my account.
In fact, I am now -$23.50 thanks to an overdraft charge.

Please, please, please don't cash any checks you might have from me right now! I can't afford any more $20 charges!

Stupid scholarship. If it'd had been deposited in my account when it was supposed to, this never would've happen.

RHEOAINDGKHASDFLK029358#($%)#Q($%KLASDIFHSLKNV!

The votes have been tallied up and...

I went with green.

It is sitting right next to my keyboard in all of its beautiful, 8 gig (twice as big as my last iPod) glory.

I can't wait to upload all of my John Mayer stuff onto it (rediscovered him for the third time).

Happy Tuesday everyone!

I believe what it says on that sign on the Alamo, we are all winners!

I WON AN iPOD!!!
Brand new nano in the color of my choice from this dance competition at the student center this week!

This is especially fortunate because I have washed my current ipod twice. Two times I have opened up the washing machine to find my earphones tangled in among the denim...not good. Luckily my ipod seems to be pretty hardy because after pretending to be dead for a while (it even had a little dead ipod with x's for eyes come up on the screen) it bounced right back. No water stains or anything. It might be a little slow sometimes, but it's been all right...

But now I get to start over with a whole new one! This begs the question of course, which color should I choose? Take the poll friends. :)

Pinch me (another good song)

I absolutely adore the John Mayer version of this song.
I don't know why, but I've definitely been on a lyrics-posts kick lately. Maybe I'll post something substantial later.
Read it though, I like the words.

She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too
It's a long day living in Reseda
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy cos I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down Ventura Boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts ...
And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for a while

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening...

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

In about a week or so, that is how I'll be feeling. The semester has just started, school is getting crazy, ballroom's getting more intense, my job is getting more demanding...and it's only the beginning. I have miles to go before I sleep, before I can rest for the summer and run around in a swimsuit all day and go boating, plan California vacations, work in the lab as much as I want, read novels for fun until 3 AM, lay out on my trampoline, see the SA girls all the time...it feels ages away.
For now I'll have to enjoy running around in boots and scarves, planning homework/work/class/dance schedules, working in the lab whenever I have a spare hour, reading textbooks until 3 AM, laying out on my bed at noon already exhausted, seeing my classmates as burned out as I am.

But I'm not quite there yet. I can still stay awake in class, I'm still caught up on my chemistry reading, I've been in the lab, I got my four practice times in last week, and I've been going to bed before 12:30 most nights. It's been good. O chem is the same as last semester, but I'm more committed to getting an A this time around. O chem lab scares me to death, but I'm with my chem major friends, so I can deal with it. Physics is also fun of chem majors and my teacher is really quite entertaining so I'm hoping to overcome my initial hatred of it. French looks like it'll be difficult (advanced composition in English would be hard for me, let alone in another language all together), but it makes me happy to speak, think, hear, and read French consistently. My New Testament class should be great. Dance is dance, and I love it, but I think I'm really going to be sick of another semester of gold II. Sorry. Another resolution: actually try in that class. On the other hand, team feels like home, and despite all of my groanings about early practices, I adore it.

Hurray for another semester. I really do love being a student. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't. Good luck to all of you and your classes.

One final note: I got a new calling as one of the family home evening group leaders. If anyone has any great FHE activity ideas...let me know! :)

The way I am

Some things never change.

sigh.

Look for a Winter '09 semester predictions post soon. (I went back and reread some of mine from school years past, and it is almost funny how wrong I was almost every time. I'm giving it a week before I start to tell you which classes will kill me/which classes will be SO much FuN!! :) )

I am a speck in a giant's eye*

"One well-remembered day several years ago, I stood knee deep in the Virgin River and looked up in awe at the thousand foot rock cliffs of Zion's Park on either side. The park service brochure said that the rocks were more than 200 million years old. I remember comparing my age to the age of the rocks and feeling young, very young, very unimportant. It got dark early in the narrow canyon, and by late afternoon I could see stars in the narrow slice of sky above.
I recalled that scientists had discovered 7x10 to the 13th power stars. (The article went on to dramatize the magnitude of that number by saying that if there were 7x10 to the 13th power playing cards pressed together face to face, the line would go around the world six hundred times.) I thought to myself, I am one tiny speck, on one tiny world, that's going around one of those 7x10 to the 13th power stars. How small and totally insignificant I am.
That night as I unrolled my sleeping bag, a thought came to me with great impact: I am older than the rocks (for my spirit is eternal). I am more important than all 7x10 to the 13th power stars (because I am God's son and they are only his handiwork). "**

I found that quote in a John Bytheway book a few years ago, and I absolutely love it. Look at the incredible things that God has created, the mountains, the stars, the oceans, the planets, etc, etc, but His "work and glory are to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." We, you and I, are the most important of His creations. His goal is for us to have eternal life and to be happy. "Men are that they might have joy." It's not just in a general sense either, that all of us as a whole are meant to be happy, it's meant individually. I, Katie, am meant to succeed and find happiness in this life in whatever path I'm supposed to take. It's the same for each of you. Life is hard sometimes (sometimes I make it harder than it really is...what can I say, curse of being really, really blessed, instead of having actual problems you invent your own insignificant and meaningless ones), but it's worth it! It's worth it to be good, it's worth it to work hard, it's worth it to go out of your way to do things for others, to go to activities when you would've stayed home, to introduce yourself to people from whom you would've shied away, it's worth it to live!
Sometimes I like to think about eternity, the fact that I am a wanderer from a more exalted sphere.*** We lived with God before we were born, and we can live with Him again if we live our lives in accordance with His plan of happiness. Life does not start at birth and end with death! Life goes on forever! We can continue to learn, grow, progress, love after this earthly existence. I love that truth. It's one of the most important pieces of knowledge that I have.

I wish that everyone knew what I knew. That small truth alone would change the world.



*sorry Alyssa, I stole your post title. :)

**quoted from "You're Gonna Make It" by John Bytheway from Paul H. Dunn and Richard M. Eyre, Goals [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft 1976] p. 8

***I'm pretty sure that's in a hymn or a quote or something, but I can't find it...if anyone knows what I'm talking about/where I can find the actual thing, let me know.

what are you sinking about?

The colored lights, they brightly shine.

Unlike your eyes avoiding mine.
The snow is folding sheet upon sheet.
Our hands not holding as we cross the street.

You have had your fill your fill of me.
You have had your fill your fill of me.

I wore the dress I thought you loved.
But my boots are filling with snow you shoved
Off of the car we climb into.
You finished first, I must catch up to you.

You have had your fill your fill of me.
You have had your fill your fill of me.

How can I catch up when I don't want to?
How can I catch up when I still want you?

You have had your fill your fill of me.

December baby, you are mine.

Ring out wild bells

Oh man.

So much to say...so little ability to string it all out into sentences right now.

New Year's was fab. I had a great time in Colorado and came home with: a really cute vest from Urban Outfitters, a renewed love for Anthropologie's textiles, $3 signature lotion from Bath and Body Works (best sale I have ever seen there), gratitude for snow plows, and plenty to think about. I finished off the weekend with a trip to IKEA (bought glasses with elephants and penguins on them; they are awesome) and another night out for drinks and gelato. Lycheetinis are interesting. I also got to help Jody move into her new apartment near me! (yay!) It sort of felt like coming full circle since the last time she moved out, I also helped her move in.

I was going to post this up before I left, but I had to catch a flight so I'll post it now:

RESOLUTIONS 2009!!!!

*I really like resolutions since they're sort of like mini goals, and this year I went all out. Categorized and everything:

Academic:

• Spend at least 6 hours in the lab a week
• Study for o chem at least 4 1/2 hours a week (yeah, I know it's still not enough, but that's 4 1/2 specific hours that I'm scheduling in my planner every week, not to be pushed aside for anything)
• Get more information about French internships and start looking into what I need to do to get one for summer '10
  

Spiritual:

• Do my visiting teaching!!
• Go to the temple once a week
• Find a way to do service on a regular basis

Physical:

• Restrict eating candy, baked goods, etc to Fridays and holidays (which includes my birthday :))
• Practice 4 times a week....with or without a partner :)
• Treadmill once a week (also not really enough, but I just don't have enough hours in the day with all that o chem, physics, french, and o chem lab studying I'm going to be doing because...

I am getting good grades this semester!! Not just "good enough to barely be able to keep my scholarship" like this semester. Good grades as in a solid A in o chem and French (which I should've had this semester if I hadn't been so lazy in the homework...really though, 6 oral exercises every day? Ugh. It's so obnoxious to everyone around me to speak French to myself, so the only place I can do them is at home, but I'm never home...anyway...I'm a little bitter about that one...)

I love having the opportunity to start over, to do better, to fix past mistakes. Here's to the best semester yet. Happy New Year everyone!

One liner

So I'm not sure if I was supposed to give one word answers for all of these, but...I sort of did...hence the no spaces...

Where is your cell phone? purse

Where is your significant other? home

Your hair color? blonde

Your favorite thing? ballroomchemistryfrench

Your dream last night? nonexistent

Your life dream/goal? celestial :)

The room you're in? mine

Your hobby? blogging

Your fear? failure

Where do you want to be in 6 years? happilymarried

Where were you last night? drivinginsnow

What you're not? unmotivated

One of your wish list items? paninigrill

Where you grew up? hasyettohappen

The last thing you did? podcasting

What you are wearing: gapblackbouncypants....commmmmmmmmffffyyyyyyy

Your TV? nonexistent

Your pet? ha.

Your computer? speedy

Your mood? avoiding

Missing someone? nope

Something your NOT wearing? contacts

Favorite store? h&m

Your summer? california

Your fave color? blue

When is the last time you laughed? tonight

When is the last time you cried? hmmmmm

Your significant other's hair: matches

Your life in one word: youtellme

I tag: Lance, Kurt, Eddie

Ha. I have this theory: Boys are way worse at blogging than girls because they NEVER UPDATE THEIR BLOGS. Don't even tell me you have nothing to say because I just gave you this whole survey to fill out. :P