La Famille

I really, really love my family.
This Saturday was my little sister's baptism, and I got to see not only my parents, brother, and sisters, but I got to see my grandparents, aunt and uncle, and cousins. It was awesome. I only live fifteen minutes away from home, but I only go home maybe once or twice a month. I miss those guys.

I'm so proud of my little sister, for getting baptized. I'm proud of my brother for being worthy enough to baptize her. I'm proud of my other sister who sang harmony in a duet (which I had no idea she could do) at the baptism. I'm proud of my other sister who presented herself so well as the homecoming pageant this week. She was beautiful. I'm proud of my dad whom people keep telling me they loved as a professor. I'm proud of my mom who teaches 20+ students drums, piano, and guitar, and still has time to call and check up on me.

I went to the relationships Sunday school class with my roommates a few weeks ago because we thought it would be amusing, and instead it was really inspiring. It really hit me that this is what I want most out of life. I want to marry my best friend in the temple. I want to raise righteous kids. I want to be a mom. I have never been the kind of person who responded with that when asked what I want to do with my life. I want to be a chemist, I want to go to France, I want to compete in Blackpool, etc etc. But you know what, none of those are really that important. I want a strong family. That's all that really matters.

I've blogged a lot today. I really shouldn't study near a computer.

A direct quote from my chem text book:
"Consider college students living without CDs and spandex!"

I don't think I've touched a CD in months...and I haven't worn spandex since....I can't remember when. It's the second edition copyrighted in 2008. Someone needs to update these authors. Show them an iPod or jeans or something.

Sometimes, I just don't feel like being very peppy. :P

Just a couple thoughts:
Guys, it's probably not a good idea to tell a girl she looks tired, even if she does. You're not winning any points there...
Also, being excessively complimentary is not neccessarily a good thing. Hyperbole is only effective if used in small amounts. The more overly dramatic compliments you give out, the less they mean.
That's my opinion anyway.

Today I am grateful for:

Sunday game nights with friends*rain*hair that stays curly overnight*lessons with pros*quick French homework*a mom who brought me food because I didn't have time to buy it myself*a job well done at World of Dance*mechanical pencils full of lead*new books to read*kudos granola bars and cherry tomatoes*flowers*slowly starting to speak more French with the rms and not feeling quite so stupid*learning new lab techniques (TEM)*getting an 88% on my multiple choice section of my o chem test with the little prep that I had*scriptures and missionaries*an office on campus*study groups*not being sick*getting my o chem binder back (thank you thank you thank you Lance)*good friends*good roommates*a good life*

I'm sorry that I oscillate so frequently between despair and joy. I promise I'm a pretty even-tempered person for the most part. The extremes are what drive me to write though, so that's why you end up with so many of them on my blog here...

It's just been raining on my face

WHO THE HECK TAKES AN O CHEM BINDER?

Come on people! If you're going to be a thief, at least steal something good!
I have this organic chemistry test on Monday, and being the organic chemistry professor's daughter and probably the only chem major in my class of 250, it's important that I do well. Plus, I want to do well, because that's just the way I am. So I took my binder with all my notes and my review sheets, not only the ones I've taken so far, but this has all of the lecture outlines for the rest of the semester to the concert hall tonight. I was studying in between numbers, working out problems, reviewing as much as I could, since I haven't had a chance to do so all week because of World of Dance. I set my binder under my notebook while I ran to dance the west coast swing, and when I came back after the show, my notebook was there, but my binder was gone. If this was a joke, my gosh, it is so not funny. I have no notes from which to study, I have no lecture outlines for the rest of the semester, I have no review sheets. GAh I am so ticked. I am sobbing. It's like everything from the past week has all built up and built up, all the nights of no sleep, early rehearsals, full days where I leave at 6:45 AM and don't get home until midnight, stress of trying to figure things out and get my homework done, try to do the best I can for these performances, and study for this FREAKING TEST AND NOW I HAVE NOTHING. ;ahoawgh'aqhi'oaqgvabvae'vhia;skhndvahsva
vavacasvjav;hab
I was going to go see a movie tonight, but if anyone says anything in the wrong way to me I'll fall completely apart.
Like I did as soon as I got out of Toffer's car.
How embarrassing.
It's not like I've never failed a test before.

Porcelain Fists

My prayer:
Please let me get through this week without completely alienating myself from everyone I love due to my stress-induced irritability.
I apologize in advance.

Square this.

Ok, so you know in math you do all of these "application" problems where they say, "If you know the trajectory of a ball is given by this equation, after how long will it hit the ground?" or something like that? Where do the equations come from?! If we are really supposed to be applying stuff, we should know how to make these equations! It's not like you walk around every day and see a bird flying and know, "Well it's flying northwest in a parabolic pattern at a speed of 10 mph, so I know that in X seconds it will be directly above my head." Equations aren't just handed out to you! So where do they come from and why hasn't anyone taught this to me? That would be the really useful thing to know how to do. Who cares if you can solve an equation if there's no equation given to you from your loving texting book to solve?
This has bothered me off and on since high school. I just really needed to let it out. :P

Wow

People, ask for things via blog. It totally works, even if people don't read your request.

Thanks Lance ;)

Meh.

Ack, I give up!

I cannot come up with a decent blog post to save my life, but I want to post something. And I really want ice cream or a cookie or a brownie or something right now. So if you read this and you happen to have one of those in your possession and you want to bring it by, feel free. Really, it won't be a problem at all. :P
Wish me luck. I am filling out an application to get $1500 toward my research for this semester right now.

Be brave. Not beige.

I can't believe I was able to find this online actually.

It's a little fuzzy, but it says, "Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting."

Ain't that the truth?

Knowledge is Power

The Back to School Run Down:

Team- I love, love, love it. Sorry for my earlier whining.

French- Small class, great subject. I really like the professor, and his accent is incredibly beautiful. There are quite a few return (or returned?) missionaries like I was fearing, but I'm excited all the same. I miss speaking French souvent, alors si vous parlez francais et vous voulez converser (I think I just made that verb up) avec moi, telephonez a moi! :)

Organic Chemistry- HUGE lecture class, small recitation section full of pre med/pre dent/ pbio etc. I miss my chem major friends! The professor is really a great lecturer though, so I think I'll enjoy it. Plus I have friends in the class....not chem majors...but still cool people. :)

Chemical Safety-super easy class I've heard. The professor is totally chill, and we get to do stuff like clean up mercury spills and start fires (so we can put them out).

Physics-also a huge class. The professor is French and speaks with a strong accent, and I can't help but smile the whole time. I love it! I think that'll help me stay awake. I'm nervous for the subject, though....have never taken physics in my life. BUT I know people in the class, so yay for study groups.

D&C- really like my professor. We don't have hardly any busy work, we just have to read well, the D&C, the student manual, and various conference talks he gives to us in addition. He has really interesting lectures, too.

Latin/Standard situation-well....I still haven't taken Gold II Latin, and that's what I got put in (which is slightly embarrassing, not just for me, but for the tour team as well seeing as I'm on the latin team and in the 3 couple chacha). And I'm in Gold Bar Standard (thank goodness).
I may see how long I can go without taking a latin class before someone gets mad at me. hehe.

It's going to be a great year.

I just realized:

I have not cooked for myself in my apartment since...ever....
except for breakfast yesterday, but that wasn't just for myself.
It's weirding me out a little, haha, because I have all these Martha Stewart recipes I've been getting by email all summer I've been meaning to try out.
Also, forgetting your planner at home when it contains your schedule is not a good idea. Whoops. Had to make a quick dash to a library computer to find my French class (which is going to rock, by the way. Oh, and I've decided that all French teachers are tres chic and have great taste in clothing). Next up is organic chemistry just downstairs! (I'm in the lab right now.) I'm excited!!

Well, this was sort of a pathetic little post. Sometime soon I'll do a big back to school run down.

Fig Trees and Pisces

I wrote this earlier today. I'm feeling better now. :)

I have a nagging feeling that I am teetering towards drowning in things I do not understand or do not want to face. I have no control, but at the same time I have all the control. I am the master manipulator.
I promise I'm a nice person.
So why do I feel like such an ice queen?
Or maybe I'm just freaking out again, like I always do. Or maybe I just let things get too far. I don't know. I suck at soul searching and figuring myself out. Could someone please tell me who I am and what I'm thinking? I'm having a hard time piecing it together.

School started today. The weather was a perfect Indian summer. I enjoyed my classes. I went to work. I got food (finally).

I should go befriend my roommates or something.
But I just feel like crying.