*Following this exchange, Aaron came outside and severely disabled the menacing grasshopper that was blocking my path to the front door. (I have a phobia....yes, STILL.)
What would I do without him? I'll tell you, I'd wander aimlessly around Philadelphia until the grasshopper found another porch to stake out. Could be days. Maybe I'd have to sleep at a friend's house. Or stay indefinitely in lab. Fulfill my dreams of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler'ing in one of Philly's many lovely museums. The possibilities would be endless, except for entering my house, of course.
So it's a good thing I'm married to him! Grasshopper gladiator = my one true love.
*I realize that's the wrong it's in the top message, and I'm missing a lot of commas. I blame my terrorized state.
